How Many Dead Baby Jokes Does It Take ...

How many babies does it take to paint a house?
One, if you throw it hard enough.

What do you call a baby that's been through the dishwasher 35 times?
Probably dead.

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?
I'll tell you in a second

Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?
To see its expression.

How do you get a dead baby out of a blender?
Nachos.

What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs on your porch?
Matt.

What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in your pool?
Bob

What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in a ditch?
Phil

What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs on the beach?
Sandy

What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs on your wall?
Art.
Do you have any "Art" for sale?
Depends, do you need a babysitter?

What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?
Fucked.

Why did the baby fall off of the swing?
It didn't have any arms or legs.

What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls?
One you can unload with a pitchfork.

Why do you unload a truckload of babies with a pitchfork?
So you can tell which ones were still alive.

What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.

What's better than a dead baby?
Revoked child support.

What's more fun than stapling babies to a wall?
Ripping them off again.

What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

What's the worst part of a pile of dead babies?
The live one at the bottom trying to eat its way out.

What's red and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion

What does a blind, deaf, and quadriplegic baby get for Christmas?
Cancer

How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops ice cream, one scoop dead baby.

What's worse than ten dead babies in a trashcan?
One dead baby in ten trashcans.

What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?
I won't eat an apple with cum on it.